Musings Of A Disoriented Critter

KFC or PVP.. I haven't decided yet. Well, it's been quite a while since I've last talked to her. For the one day I might be there, I should see if we could hang out like in old times... I texted her, "Back at Vijayawada"... A call came in response, "I need to talk".. "Just a second ma'am, am just at the bus stand"... Minutes passed and I dialed her up... "It's just that I'm getting married, and we can't be friends anymore".. Silence... "Cool! Congratulations ma'am"... Well, I knew such a day was coming. I guessed from the sudden silence that she's finally going to get married. I was genuinely happy for my good friend. The person for whom she's been waiting for has finally arrived, but well,  at the expense of our friendship. What can I do? All I could do is rationalize, convey my wishes to her, and promise to let her brother know if anything significant as to be brought to her notice happe...

Each day brings about surprises, each day digs up deepest of the memories. After one long day, I was on the phone talking to a good friend of mine. Was it like 3 days back we exchanged numbers? Each evening's been spent talking to her, playing with her pup, and sharing our thoughts, and our love for horror movies, and music. Then emerged Owl City, one of our favorite artists. Silhouette always rang my bells, and as we shared our love for him, we stumped across Fireflies , a song that gave us goosebumps, a song that took us to our deepest dreams.. "I like to make my self believe,    that planet earth turns slowly.... It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,    cause everything is never as it seems...  Wen I fall asleep." It takes me back every time.. I woke up to the jerk of the speed bumps on the road. The bus decided a halt in the middle of the road. Was it 3 in the morning,  I fell asleep to Owl City after one tiring day at...

Thought this as yet another normal beginning of the week, with the former weekend filled with gaming, movies, nights out, and coding. Quite a normal PDC class (well, can't ever call that normal), and a normal (aka boring) CRE class, and a fun-filled CAD class. A blurry afternoon trying to find the steady state in a 2--tank interacting system... A normal evening out with a friend, a normal evening of chatting, Parasyte, and OITNB... A normal evening of my roomie attending calls, and me chatting with my ma'am... Was it that I was talking of how the new movie wasn't so appealing to me, then I noticed my college Whatsapp group change its name to "RIP APJ ABDUL KALAM"... It came off as a shock to me. This can't be true. I HAD to validate it with a google search, but the news was clear... India lost another Bharath Ratna. It wasn't long before my Facebook and Hike were flooding with notifications of the homage being played to the great man!  "Gi...

Ever had a day that just makes you feel like yourself, stripped off all the filters and masks that paint a facade that says, "Am really fine!". I don't really see if typing this out will even be any bit amusing to you guys. Out of the fun times, there are 'reality check' times. I guess this is one such days for me. Waking up to the overcast skies, and a surprisingly pleasant morning, I heard a knock on my door. The newspaper agents trying out their luck to reel in readers. He hadn't the one I needed. He said what he had to say with me not listening a bit but with me nodding like a goose, he left. I started out, brushed and freshened up trying to shake off the drowsiness of the night. The previous night has been okay. Back from a movie, my insomniac self sat up doing nothing, well, I did sleep earlier, though. Was at the mess when my phone rang? My ATM card has arrived, and is waiting at the Post Office, so I'm needed to grab it before college st...

It was late. Any sane head would want to hit the bed and drift off into the sweet world of dreams. But, I didn't want to. Wrapped in my blanket, my eyes strained, my head refused to rest. It can't help but contemplate... Contemplate of all the choices I've made. Am I really happy about now? I can't say so with a straight face. Each day do I walk the paths of my life conscious of what I am, what I've been. Am I really proud of myself? I don't know that. Sometimes do I wish I could go back in time to tweak a little bit, make tiny changes. The end of Intermediate first year... I realized something about me, tried to subdue myself in a frantic attempt for acceptance. Did I win it, yes... Did I stay for long? No. Was leaving easy? Well, it was one of the most painful of times. I know I lost a part of my sanity. I know that I can't retrieve it back. Took me almost three years to get in terms with myself. But, even as I type this out, I do feel my fingers shakin...

The Cuckoo comes in April She sings her song in May She changes her tune   In the month of June And July she flies away... In unison did we sing of this prodigy ever wondering where it came from and where it flew away. Well, I didn't know about others, but looking out of the window looking into its eyes, ever did I wish to ask it of its whereabouts. This little poem resonated in my head every time I heard the cuckoo's song. In those lonely warm afternoons when most of the humanity is enjoying their siestas, its song kept me company. Does its song really mean something. Each year, each of its songs had a secret way of speaking to my heart. Sometimes it called out for adventuring, sometimes it called out to play with colors, sometimes to rediscover lost dreams, sometimes to just doze off dreaming away of an uncertain future. But, in the facade of beauty and awe, there lies in, its stone dark secret of its birth and survival. Born in its host's n...

This morning was a blur. I vaguely remember what I was dreaming and was trying to remember who the person I've seen. Shifting in my bed, unable to sleep after a night filled with dreams and uncomfortable sleep, I decided to finally get up. Was it my inability to recall the dream, or something else, I don't quite remember, but I wasn't in a really good mood, and I got myself in a clash with my dad. I decided not to make the matter worse and joined my mum who was fixing us breakfast, unmindful of what's being cooked. I broke off when dad left, and booted up my lappy. I guess I was finally awake. Checking my notifications, I remembered that I forgot it was the birthday of one of my best buddies. It was a bit early for me to call, also, I wasn't in a really good mood to hold a conversation. I searched for my phone, and changed our college group name to "Happy B'day Navy!!!" on WhatsApp, and searched for the college group on Facebook to check if a post...

Such a day! Oh wait! I just remembered. Darn procrastination! Okay. I'll be honest with you guys. This post is supposed to be made two days back. I was "too tired" to actually type this out, and yesterday, meh! Anyway, so I had a very busy day then. Woke up to the sweet scent of soil, and as I grabbed my brush to start the day, I noticed the sky overcast, and the roads wet. The ends of my lips twisted into a huge grin. Yes! I am to drive my dad to the hospital about 30.7 km away from home for his laser treatment. The thought of a beautiful drive at 90-100 kmph on the highways, the sweet air brushing my hair, and the soft drizzle... yep!They were enough for me to shake off sleep from my eyes. I was up and ready before everyone else, and revved up the engine of our old Esteem. Damn! The darned thing has too many issues. After a couple of tries, it finally started and was, well, running okay. Let me tell you! Our car has a really huge pick-up problem, and it's clutc...

Well, was browsing through YouTube, and came upon Joey Graceffa's new music video, "Don't Wait". To all who do not know Joey, he is a YouTube personality. I came across him while watching the videos of one of my favorite YouTube personalities, Lily Singh, aka, Superwoman. Why? Well, I'm weird that way. Deal with it. (Seriously, check out their videos. They're awesome!). Lily Singh and Joey Graceffa So, I was watching this video, and the music was really good, and an engaging story. The backgrounds was really lovely. It beautifully depicted his inner demons, and as he grew older, he decided that these demons can no longer taunt him. There was his friend in the video who helped him as a kid, and when he gets older, his friend is caged and needed to be freed. The thing that is stopping is the monsters in his head, his dark side. He fought it, he finally said no to him that bound him, and the lock that caged his friend, the thing that he always wanted b...

Imagine this... You meet a stranger for the very first time, and in a daze of awkwardness, you start to share your ideas and interests just to break the ice, and sometimes do you find yourself reflected in their words. Something inside you tells that you are similar, and WHAM!!! turn the reel forward a couple of months or years, and here you are hanging out crazy, relishing the sweet fruits of friendship! What kind of sorcery is this? What kind of magical bond is it that binds people together? Altruism gone wild? I mean... Take me, for example. I'm basically a loner, a bit of a misanthrope. I'm introverted, and also a teeny bit anti-social. I wasn't ready for life as I started college, and just started to rebuild my life. I was bad with friendships, and I was utterly clueless of the life that was in front of me. I knew it was going to be a tough time. But now, look at me! My friend circle has gotten bigger than ever! I thought it would be highly improbable of...

Where do I begin? What should I say? I was this guy sulking away in the dark, afraid to emerge, afraid to show his true self, created aliases to deal with reality. Aliases to help him reveal himself to the world. In the veil of anonymity, I survived each day. But, I guess it's time for me exist. Call it insecurity, or whatever, I am finally here. Even today, I have them aliases floating around the internet, but you'll never find them interacting. So, what do I intend to do here? Share my musings.. Share my thoughts, share my all those I can't share under my aliases. Yes. There are things that even aliases can't reveal. Here, you'll find my opinion on almost anything that interests me, almost anything that runs inside this disoriented critter's head. And unlike my aliases', I might find myself sharing more of me here. Glad to know that you're reading this. I know it is pointless, yet, here you are delving into The Musings Of A Disoriented Cri...