Post-Teenage.

This morning was a blur. I vaguely remember what I was dreaming and was trying to remember who the person I've seen. Shifting in my bed, unable to sleep after a night filled with dreams and uncomfortable sleep, I decided to finally get up. Was it my inability to recall the dream, or something else, I don't quite remember, but I wasn't in a really good mood, and I got myself in a clash with my dad. I decided not to make the matter worse and joined my mum who was fixing us breakfast, unmindful of what's being cooked. I broke off when dad left, and booted up my lappy. I guess I was finally awake. Checking my notifications, I remembered that I forgot it was the birthday of one of my best buddies. It was a bit early for me to call, also, I wasn't in a really good mood to hold a conversation. I searched for my phone, and changed our college group name to "Happy B'day Navy!!!" on WhatsApp, and searched for the college group on Facebook to check if a post's been made yet on his name. Yep. There was. I tagged him in there wishing from me, and went about trying to get my head straight after the morning's ordeal. After a movie, couple of GoT episodes, and a large chunk of my time with Imagine Dragons, I could finally get a grip.

I started scrolling through my Facebook NewsFeed, bored of all things before I came upon a post by the b'day boy, Naveen. It was a selfie of him waving. Underneath it was written, and I quote,

"I am not a TEENager anymore. I have memories which are sweet and make me happy, some make me cry. Thanks for my family and friends for every thing. Now I got a limtied edition for my enjoyment. I have some responsibilities to take upon. So,Good Bye TEENager"

 This got me thinking. It struck me that he's 20, now. The ends of my lips curled up, and images of me feeling tensed as I was about to end my teenage years about five and a half months flashed up.
Aah! The same feelings of nostalgia, the gratitude, the fear of how one's future might turn out to be... They all came back, and I could relate to how he felt. The feeling that life has crossed yet another milestone, and the insecurity towards future.

Teenage came without warning. Changes happen, friendships soften, sometimes they transform. People start to get self-conscious. Well, I wasn't never ready to face teenage. 'Twas a roller coaster ride. And, looking back at that beautiful phase as we end is seemed so overwhelming. I remember myself sitting on my bed, snuggling in my blanket, looking back. I knew nothing as a pre-teen. I was, what one could call 'a n00b'. Life was cupcakes and rainbows till puberty hit, and there I was in a situation where I was to select which path to choose, engineering, or medicine. I was sh*t scared of blood and so I went for engineering. After two years of pure hell, I was to make yet another choice. I was exhausted by then. Completely done! It was tough imagining a long life ahead- being adult and all. I fell apart faster than I thought I would. I had no guide, I knew not what I was doing. At some point of it I wished it all to end. The only thing I wanted was to get away from the place, start over. I needed time to think.

I found myself in this room, my own place, I could call it. Was in college. I got a lot of time on my hands that I started to know who I really was, what I was really good at. All I needed was time, and here I had it. The dreams and talents crushed under the pressure of proving myself to my parents unleashed. I started to write, I started to draw. I started to read. I started doing what I loved the most, made great friends, had tons of fun. I never thought I'd be this happy. There were moments when I felt it was hard. But, I finally learnt. I finally learn to live as an individual. Well, not by myslef, entirely. Without my friends, I would be nothing!

So, looking back just hours before my teenage ends, I felt proud. I transformed from nobody to ME. And with a smile did I bid adieu to teenage.

Well, from then on did anything change? Well, a friend of mine said, "Why grow up?". Age is just a barrier we keep. You could be both responsible and childish, serious and fun-loving. Why should age stop our inner child from playing around, exploring. We can be mature immatures. That's the fun in life. Looking forward and greeting life with a smile, and adding sugar to the lemons life gives, savoring the healthy lemonade. May be that's why it's called lemons. They make great lemonades, only when you know how to spice things up.

I don't know if my friend had the exact feelings, but this I can say, I had great memories with Navy. These three years, I know that he was one of many to be by my side. I know I had fun, and I guess, he had fun too. We shared many happy memories together, laughed about, shared lunch, watched movies together, listened to Imagine Dragons, studied together. Screw it! He as been my bench-mate- getting caught at the same time, minding each others' backs, and my co-roomie (he stayed in during lunch) for the three years. We MC'd last Farewell party! He was with me, helping me and giving me timely feedback. He's one of my besties!!

Our Motto: "Growing up is too overrated"
Navy(left), moi(right).

I don't know if we could say the same after some ten years or so. Life is a mystery. This time next year, our futures will be decided already. Some of us will be flying to other countries, some of us working, some of us just drifting about making a career. Soon, we'll cross another new milestone, and life would never stop surprising us.

With a smile, do we need to face our uncertain future, and yes, it is overwhelming!


And oh! Happy Birthday, Navy!!!


Praveen