End of a Decade!

Well, it's time again!

End of a decade, and looking back, 2010 me wouldn't have had the faintest idea of how he'd grow so much, break so much, rebuild himself so much!

I was very naive back then, and honestly, 2010 me didn't even plan much beyond that year. I knew I was gonna finish school, just didn't know what I'd be doing in 2011. And here I am about to end 2019 with a friggin Masters degree (still pretty much jobless lol), retrospecting the decade that's past.

It was this decade that I broke, the winter of 2011 being my breaking point. I plunged so deep that I hit my rock bottom not knowing what would happen of me. Yet, I chose to fight. Subconsciously, I never stopped fighting. It was luck or maybe providence that brought me out of my hometown. Even when I failed miserably, I still could still start things over.

It was painful undoing the previous decade. It was painful unlearning everything my elders taught me. And thus I grew. I picked up reading, writing- book and quill were my only refuge. I sustained. I founds memes and I realised I could laugh, not just put up a fake smile to appease people around me.

And then, I met some amazing people thanks to Vizag. I never thought I'd see Vizag let alone live there, but I ended up having the best 4 years of my life. I learned so much, I grew so much. I became my own person. I fought for things I believed in, I talked about things that needed to be talked about. I learned to trust and show my vulnerable side. I made friends.

And even though I broke again by the end of those 4 year, and I really needed to get away, I chose to hold back and take my time to figure things out. And thus, Hyderabad happened. I made friends I could call my family.

And when I was sure, I flew.

Canada changed my life. It changed my very being- for better and for worse. I didn't realise till I was back here how much I've changed as a person. I was an exec for a year balancing my roots and the new world I stepped into.
I tried balancing too much and at times failed miserably.
The nominal thank yous and sorrys have become my very being.
I also realised how much I shut people off by the end of my Masters, and it reminded me of how much I need to stay in touch with my old being and keep the folks that matter to me.
Maybe these are the things I take to the new decade!

Thinkimg so, am I any wiser compared to my 2010 self? No. There's still a long way to go, there's still a lot to unlearn and learn, and am all the more clueless and confused as to what future holds for me. Am I excited? Yes. Am I scared? Yes. Isn't this how I start each year anyway?

Welp! Here's to hoping the new decade would be just as wonderful and adventurous as the one that past!

In that note, Happy New Year's Eve! ❤